Is James Bond a Timelord?

Here's something I read on the 'net many, many years ago. It's no longer hosted anywhere, so I feel fortunate to have
archived it. It's a must share.. I beleive the author was Paul Coker and full credit must go to him....

(Note: Original images were not saved and have been replaced)

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James Bond 007 is a Time Lord, and I can prove it!

A shocking claim, yes? Well, I am entirely convinced that Universal Exports most famous agent and several of his friends and enemies are in fact Gallifreyan Time Lords. Upon what do I base this cannon busting claim? Bare with me a moment.

Before we go on, let's Establish some facts.

1) Chronology of the official Bond Films

This generally follows the order in which the films were released and are set in the year in which they were first released, with several notable exceptions, which I will justify later. 
The first of these is that "Diamonds are Forever" clearly takes place before "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (OHMSS), and very shortly after "You Only Live Twice.
The second is that "License to Kill" takes place before "The Living Daylights".

Therefore the complete running order of the official Bond cannon is: 

Doctor No (1962)
From Russia with Love (1963)
Goldfinger (1964)
Thunderball (1965) 
You Only Live Twice (1967)
Diamonds are Forever (1967)
OHMSS (1969)
Live and Let Die (1973)
The Man with the Golden Gun (1975)
The Spy who Loved Me (1977)
Oh dear, oh dear... (1979)
For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Octopussy (1983)
A View to a Kill (1985)
License to Kill (1986)
The Living Daylights (1987)
Goldeneye Opening flashback (1987)
Goldeneye (1995)
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

There are of course two other feature length Bond films, "Casino Royale" and "Never Say Never Again", as well as a Fifties US TV version of "Casino", none of them produced by United Artists. These have been included in this chronology for several reasons. Firstly, the film version of "Casino". There are some very nice scenes in this, as well as some cool ideas. One of the best is the eccentric English aristocrat James Bond, played by David Niven who is very displeased with the effect on his reputation caused by "That sex-manic, alcoholic ruffian you gave my name and number to." (Who we never meet.) When he takes over from M, he decrees that all British agents will henceforth be known as James Bond, 007 to confuse the enemy. The score is extremely catchy, and there are some great lines: "What happened to your stutter?" "I decided we hadn't the time." There is also some great acting talent on display, ranging from Ursula Andress to Orson Welles, and several Who Luminaries, such as Bernard Cribbins (filming "Daleks: Invasion Earth 2150AD" in the studio next door) and the voice of the wonderful Valentine Dyall. 
The problem is this: It is extremely disjointed, and things and events follow no sort of logical course. But no-one cares. It exists, not so much as a film, but as an embodiment of Carnaby Street in the mid-sixties, and as such has considerable style. But it cannot be cannon for several reasons. SMIRSH, the organisation/operation mentioned in "From Russia with Love" and "The Living Daylights" is turned into SPECTRE in all but name, and the faceless voice in charge is someone who is definitely not Ernst Stavro Blofeld. 

"Never Say Never Again" is definitely not cannon, because it is a remake of Thunderball. Besides the fact that everyone should be going around, shaking their heads saying "I have this terrible feeling of déja vu..." it also gives us different versions of M, Q (or "Algy" as he is here), Miss MoneyPenny, Blofeld, Felix Leighter, and various characters from Thunderball. It is a Connery film with a Roger Moore setting, and in short a continuity nightmare. To be fair we shall assume that this is set in an alternate universe, not too dissimilar to our own, where the first Bond never regenerated, the SPECTRE master-plan was carried out in 1983 instead of 1965 Q branch is run by someone else, etc, etc, fill in the blanks yourself, I haven't the time. 

And the TV version of "Casino" is definitely not cannon, because "Jim Bond " works for the CIA, and meets up at the Casino with Clarance Leighter of MI5. 'nuff said.

2) "So, why is he a Time Lord then?"

Item: He has had Five bodies to date.

Item: Each body has a different personality and way of carrying out his missions

Item: He served in the Navy in World War II, but looks mid-thirties by the time of "Goldeneye".

Item: We know that at least one other Gallifreyan was exiled to Earth in this time period for conduct unbecoming a Time Lord

Item: Many of 007's favourite pastimes (Killing, seducing earth women, etc.) could certainly be classified as conduct unbecoming a Time Lord

Item: A Time Lord agent would be very useful to the Security Service for many reasons. For one thing, the ultra-fast reflexes, for another the fact that even if he is killed, he can regenerate and complete his mission. He can also look like anyone.

Item: If any agency did have an alien working for them, they would certainly keep it quiet (cf. UNIT's relationship with the Doctor)

Item :Equally, a Time Lord operative would be the best agent to put up against an international criminal organisation run by another Renegade Time Lord.

Item: The first line spoken by the Fifth Bond (Pearce Brosnan), in the Trailer for Goldeneye is exactly the same as the Sixth Doctor's first line in "The Caves of Androzani".

Item: Vast amounts of knowledge in the area of linguistics vanish from 007's memory. Just as the Doctor looses the ability to speak fluent Tibetan between "Planet of the Spiders" and "The Creature from the Pit", Bond
claims to have taken a first in oriental languages at Cambridge in "You Only Live Twice", but is wary of sending a signal in Chinese in "Tomorrow Never Dies".

3) So, what are the characteristics of each incarnation of Bond, then?

1st incarnation lasts from Doctor No until Diamonds are Forever. Most misogynistic of all Bond incarnations. Always respects and obeys the orders of his superiors to the letter. Case in point: He abandons his beloved Berretta in Doctor No, when M orders him to do so. Bored by Q, but tolerates him, as shown by his reaction to encountering him in Thunderball. Has a decidedly nasty streak just below the surface; not afraid to give a female double agent a slap to extract information from her, as seen in "Dr No" is particular. Voted Bond least likely to get a knighthood. Also seen on occasions wearing a porkpie hat several sizes too small for him. Typical Time Lord dress sense. 

Second incarnation seen only in OHMSS. Wears that hat again, but quickly discards it. Master of disguise (another Time Lord trait), he can affect a scots accent and sound completely different for extended periods. Has spent several years tracking Blofeld around the world and is a law unto himself. Doesn't give a damn about M or his official procedure, and is prepared to do a deal with the devil to get the job done. Has matured enough to have developed an empathy with Q that hints at a close friendship. Quite uniquely, he genuinely falls in love with a woman, to the extent that he is willing to sacrifice anything to spend his life with her. This doesn't stop him cheating on her at Blofeld's phoney allergy clinic, but the feeling is that he will settle down. When Terrasa dies, it becomes too much for Bond to cope with and sacrifices his second life to produce a persona better equipped emotionally to deal with what he has to do, just as the Sixth Doctor may have sacrificed himself to become The Times Champion.
In any case, it is in this regeneration that 007's status as a Time Lord is confirmed, when he turns to the audience and 'This never happened to the other guy"
This incident, more than any other is recognition of Bond's change of persona and therefore his non-terrestial nature. 

The Third Bond, as previously mentioned can cope with his job with characteristic sarcasm. No matter how inappropriate the situation, this Bond will be ready with an awful pun and a rise of the eyebrow. He also had an awful taste in suits. As seen with other notable Time Lords, his mental abilities and powers of suggestion increased in this regeneration, as demonstrated by the ever increasing hordes of women half his age eager to jump into bed with him. Terresa remains a sore topic, as shown in The Spy Who Loved Me, but at least he can live with himself. This emotional strength was probably the reason that Bond hung onto this body for perhaps longer than would be advisable. He must have know that the end was near, when in For Your Eyes Only, he took the unprecedented move of turning down point blank the 16 year old blond ice-skating protégé and later wines and dines a forty year old Yorkshire housewife. He obeys M's orders, but enjoys humiliating him by showing off his great knowledge about absolutely anything, usually in the presence of Admirals, Ministers or other figures of authority, just to show his boss up. Always ends the mission by sailing off into the sunset with a girl who says "Oooh James" a lot, and ignoring M's attempts to improbably contact him. Enjoys the company of Q, who seems to be stationed, along with M and Miss MoneyPenny in every secret British base in the world simultaneously. He has great fun winding up Q, who gets closer to a coronary every time they talk.

The fourth Bond is a much more idealistic individual. He holds personal friendship and loyalty more sacred than petty espionage. He does not get along at all well with M; in their first major confrontation, Bond resigns on the spot and M is prepared to have him shot. Once Bond has settled his vendetta with Sanchez, M practically begs Bond to come back, as they need his expertise and sheer skill. Bond realises he cannot survive in the outside world, but he must still suffer M. Bond only has one real scene with M in The Living Daylights, and there is a considerable tension between the two. Bond ignores M's orders to terminate General Pushkin, and also comments on his boss "Stuff my orders! I only kill professionals...If he fires me I'll thank him for it..." It's also worth noting that this version of Bond respects his partners to the extent that he only sleeps with one woman per movie. Just look at the last scene of "License to Kill." As Bonds go, this one is practically a saint. It is probably because of these improvements in his character that Q is willing to sacrifice his reputation and thirty year career in the service of Her Majesty to help him in "License".

The latest Bond first manifested himself in a mission to destroy a Soviet chemical weapons factory in 1987. This Bond is altogether different from the idealistic avenger of the previous two films. Possibly M issued Bond with an ultimatum following his insubordination: get with the programme, get your house in order or you're through. In any case, this new Bond displays a ruthlessness unlike that of any before seen. For instance, he casually uses a would-be assassin's corpse to convince his colleagues that it is in fact Bond that they have just perforated. On several occasions, he is seen wielding an AK-47 in each hand, indiscriminately slaughtering Red army guards (who are, of course our friends now) and Carver's private army without a second thought. No longer was Bond a devastatingly efficent assasin, using his license to kill only to terminate Her Majesty's enemies and to protest the lives of himself and innocent civilians. His relationship with the new (female) M is one of mutual respect; she may think that he is a sexist, misogynist dinosaur, but she knows that he is the best there is and she can rely on him to get the job done. His friendship with Q has persevered as well, Q finally starting to enjoy Bond's punning sense of humour.

3) Anyone else a Time Lord then?


Felix Leighter, CIA:Meets Bond for the first time in "Doctor No", subsequently works with 007 in "Goldfinger", "Thunderball", "Diamonds are Forever", and "Live & Let Die", each time with a different face and manner. Felix has a much more substantial role in "License to Kill", when Bond performed his duties as best man at Felix's wedding. During this film, Felix acquires some rather nasty injuries, which necessitates his regeneration before "The Living Daylights". Felix has been absent from the past two films, Bond dealing instead with Jack Wendt. However, it is said that the actor who plays him, Joe Don Baker, is unavailable to do the next film, so who knows? Maybe old Felix will make a comeback in Bond 19.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld:His face remains unseen in "From Russia with Love" and "Thunderball". Between then and "You Only Live Twice" his voice and the back of his head change drastically, so presumably he regenerates for some reason before this time. He escapes at the end of this film, and some how manages to get out of Japan. When Bond finally tracks him down again (picking up the trail in Japan at the start of "Diamonds") Blofeld is completely different physically. In fact, he is the spitting image of Henderson, Bond's British contact in Tokyo, who was murdered by Blofeld's operatives. We might speculate that Blofeld stole his identity to get out of the country before the airports were sealed. This Blofeld also displays a previously unsuspected liking for drag; can you imagine Donald Plesance disguising himself as an old woman for no readily aparent reason? Don't answer that.
He escapes again, this time in a Mini-sub, and regenerates again. When he and Bond meet again neither recognise each other by sight. In fact, Blofeld only recognises Bond when he tries to seduce one of his patients. Blofeld sustains a crippling neck injury at the end of this film, and when he finally reappears at the start of "For Your Eyes Only" he is confined to a wheelchair and looks and sounds much the same as he did in "OHMSS". Why he never regenerated is a mystery. Maybe he had reached the end of his regenerative cycle; maybe the regeneration failed; who know? who cares? Whatever, we've almost certainly seen the last of old baldy.

Miss MoneyPenny:
Certainly displays three different characters throughout the series. The first, with a pronounced American accent lasts from "Doctor No" right through to "A View to a Kill." She seemed on the point of retiring in "Octopussy", but stays on, never the less. The second, a more quintessentially English bespectacled secretary, appears briefly in "License to Kill" and again in "The Living Daylights". Perhaps because Bond no longer seems interested, she soon regenerates again. This appears to do the trick, as Bond's interest is once again aroused, but perhaps due to the change in her own personality, she is no longer interested in him.
Quite why a near immortal Time Lord would be wasting their considerable knowledge and experience, as well as 30 years of her life ("Handful of heartbeats to a Time Lord" as it may be) is unclear. Maybe she came to Earth with Bond when he was exiled and is unable or unwilling to leave without him. Maybe she even played a part in his exile... Now there's a thought...

And a closing thought: Pity the Quartermaster.

Let me clear something up. When Q first appears in "From Russia with Love", the character is listed in the credits as "Boothroyd", but is introduced within the narrative as simply "Q" (head of the Quartermaster branch of MI7). A similar character, introduced on screen as Major Boothroyd appears in "Doctor No", where his is described as "The armorer". These are not the same character. We never learn Q's real name, or his rank in the military, if he has one. So, Q is certainly not a Time Lord, he is just an eccentric Whitehall civil servant. I have always felt immensely sorry for Q; he grows old while his friends and everyone around him just get younger. This might account for his early bitterness and slight resentment of 007. He mellows with age, however, and now he and Bond enjoy a close friendship. So, next time you watch a Bond film, spare a thought for poor Q.

Sarah-Jane Smith knew of James Bond's existance in "Robot", despite the fact that he is a state secret. However, as she also knew of the top-secret organisation UNIT and never told anyone, she qualifies as one of the worst investigative journalists of all time

End Original text.

I'll be adding a few new observations here soon... stay tuned...

The Doctor
William Hartnell (Richard Hurndall), Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann

The Companions
Carole Ann Ford as Susan Foreman, Jacqueline Hill as Barbara Wright, William Russell as Ian Chesterton, Maureen O'Brien as Vicki, Peter Purves as Steven Taylor, Adrienne Hill as Katarina, Jean Marsh as Sara Kingdom, Jackie Lane as Dodo Chaplet, Anneke Wills as Polly Lopez, Michael Craze as Ben Jackson, Frazer Hines as Jamie McCrimmon, Deborah Watling as Victoria Waterfield, Wendy Padbury as Zoe Heriot, Caroline John as Liz Shaw, Katy Manning as Jo Grant, Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah-Jane Smith, Ian Marter as Harry Sullivan, Louise Jameson as Leela, Mary Tamm as Romana (first), Lalla Ward as Romana (second), Matthew Waterhouse as Adric, Sarah Sutton as Nyssa, Janet Fielding as Tegan Jovanka, Mark Strickson as Turlough, Nicola Bryant as Perpugilliam Brown, Bonnie Langford as Melanie Bush, Sophie Aldred as Ace.

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